I Took Performance Enhancers
Maxed out all of Captain Smiley's abilities.
25 ✓ January 14th, 2011
Job Well Done, Faithful Reader
Completed the game.
25 ✓ January 12th, 2011
Eugene's Protégé
Finished each level with mistake-free reaction sequences
20 ✓ January 12th, 2011
Two Stood Against Many
Completed all three issues of Nanoc the Obliviator.
15 ✓ January 9th, 2011
Hero of the Silver Age
Completed all three issues of The Improbable Paper Pals.
15 ✓ January 12th, 2011
Brad's Savior and Best Friend
Completed all three issues of Cutie Cutie Kid Cupids.
15 ✓ January 12th, 2011
Violence Solves Everything
Fired 125,000 total shots (and counting...)
10 ✓ January 14th, 2011
Shut Star Up
Racked up 15 punches on Star while arguing.
10 ✓ January 9th, 2011
Neural Net Processors
Destroyed 25 of Brad's BradBots.
10 ✓ January 9th, 2011
Pressed X a lot
Earned cash by talking to people in the base.
10 ✓ January 9th, 2011
Collection of a True Fan
Purchased every bonus from Dr. Winklemeyer.
25 
He Ain't Even Married
Survived Benny's onslaught during The Improbable Paper Pals #79 without taking a hit.
20