🏆 I talked to Amy. For like an hour. Today was a good day. :)
Earn all other trophies in the game.
🥇 Damn, I need to get some more songs on my phone. So tired of 'FEVER DREAMING'. I like it, but man I'm sick of it.
Get 600 kills.
🥇 Not that I have any money to get new music, though. Hell, maybe I COULD wear that stupid Viking hat.
Play and finish 50 matches.
🥇 Okay, so I just slammed into Amy in the hall and it's official: I need to man the hell up!
Get 1st place in 25 matches.
🥇 I was stammering and sweating and stuttering and just standing there. I have GOT to stop being such a dork around her.
Reach floor 15 of a ranked tower.
🥇 When we collided she did get some of her homework mixed in with mine. So, I DO have a valid reason to text her now.
Win a match of Organ Donor with a single deposit.
🥇 Wait, text?!? Ok so I'm 100% sure I've lost my damn testicles. I need to just TALK to her! I need to be @&!%ing brave.
Get two characters to Level 15 and complete all of those characters' missions.
🥇 Like those guys from the band on Mark's punk rock bootlegs. They have NO fear! I need to be like them!
Solve all of the Sphinx's riddles.
🥈 Hooper's talking about college. Again. "So what are your plans for college, kids?" It's like everyday with this guy.
Get 100 kills.
🥈 Why's he think we all want to go to college? Decades of student loan debt plus four more years in a classroom? No thanks.
Get 50 kills with 3 different characters.
🥈 I MIGHT. I mean, I may want to go. But maybe not. Who says that's the ONLY way to get where you're going?!
Get 50 kills with The Hand.
🥈 Not that I have ANY idea where I'm going. Alan says I need to come work at Magic Mouse this summer. Uhm, HELL no.
Do 3000 points of damage with special attacks.
🥈 Maybe I'll go work at Viking Burger just to annoy him. But I really don't want to wear one of those Viking Horn Hats.
Play and finish 20 matches.
🥈 I wonder if I could get a job making art. Like after high school. I'd so love to make art for video games!
Get 1st place in 7 matches.
🥈 That's totally stupid and not happening. No one wants a game that looks like my art.
Get one character to Level 15 and complete all of that character's missions.
🥉 I hate my stupid stepdad.
Get your first kill.
🥉 Oh @&!%, did I brush my teeth today?!?
Get 50 kills.
🥉 I'm getting hungry.
Get a kill with The Hand.
🥉 Or maybe I'm just bored. I think that's it — I'm bored.
Play and finish 10 matches.
🥉 But I mean, why wouldn't I be? This class sucks so bad.
Get 1st place in a match.
🥉 Maybe I'll say I need to go to the bathroom.
Deposit 10 hearts in a Organ Donor match.
🥉 Then I'll just hide in a stall and watch videos till class ends.
Complete Training.
🥉 Amy keeps looking at me and smiling. That's weird. I mean it's cool. But it's weird.
Discover The Lost in Shooting Gallery!
🥉 I wonder if she likes me. How amazing would THAT be?
Destroy three moon rocks in Shooting Gallery!
🥉 Maybe she just feels sorry for me. Or maybe she's smiling at someone behind me?
Use all Alientown warps — including secret warps — in one match!
🥉 Nope — there's just a poster of Abraham Lincoln behind me. She could be smiling at the poster, I guess? That'd be so weird.
Discover granny's terrible secret!
🥉 Actually, that would make me like her more. And to be clear, what I mean is, if she IS a little weird, I'd like that.
The Emperor (or at least his face) will SMASH you!
🥉 I wasn't saying I'd like her more if she wanted to get with Abe Lincoln. That'd be super gross cuz he’s dead. And very tall.
Anger an alien, kill an enemy!